Introducing Mary Lynn – Holistic Psychotherapist, specialising in life stages and in particular female midlife.

Carl Jung the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst once said, “Life really does begin at 40 up until then you are just doing research.”

Most women experience peri menopause & menopause symptoms in their midlife stage of life between the ages of 40 to 55. Some women may experience these symptoms earlier in life due to premature menopause, or premature ovarian insufficiency (POI), where menopause happens before the age of 40. However, for most women it is experienced in midlife.

Menopause is a time of both physical & psychological change. During their lifetime women experience more changes in life (periods, pregnancy, menopause) than men & the midlife stage is where women experience a whammy of challenges and changes.

The midlife stage of life is referred to as the “sandwich years”, where many women are in the middle of caring for their own family as well as aging parents whilst juggling jam packed lives where often having it all means doing it all.  From my research & practice work, many women report feeling stuck or on autopilot mode where they feel in constant survival mode rather than living life to the full. This time may indeed feel like a crisis.

Have you noticed that you are more irritable and shorter tempered?  If the answer is Yes, this is partly due to hormonal changes but maybe this discomfort is trying to get you to pay attention to what isn’t working in your life anymore. It is asking you to take stock & notice how you are changing inwardly as well as outwardly. It all part of the change & reassessment process that is part of midlife & it is meant to feel uncomfortable as we don’t like change. It is not called the change of life for nothing!

The Awakening
What I have found in my research & from listening to my clients’ experiences is that when it comes to female midlife & menopause, many of my clients report that their crisis led to their awakening. Asking questions like who am I NOW? Who and what is important to me? will lead you to a more empowered & authentic sense of self.

There is a realisation that “midlife” is halfway through, you are not operating out of youthful naivety but from a perspective that time is finite and does not wait for anyone.

This can lead to an awakening of the soul from where you once operated out of. Rather than serving everyone else’s needs you can now recoup this energy and invest it in YOU.

How Best to Make This Midlife Stage of Life Into an Awakening Experience:

•  Acknowledge that you are changing physically, spiritually and psychologically.

• Allow yourself time to adjust to all the changes.

• Reassess & re-evaluate everything in your life that isn’t working for you anymore e.g. relationships, friends, partners, work etc.

• Adapt a positive & open mindset and arm yourself with reliable resourced information on menopause, what’s happening and why.

• Future proof and become accountable and responsible for your health & wellbeing. This is a very important stage in a women life to future proof mind body & soul for older life. Sleep, balanced lifestyle & eating well can also be helped by adding a supplement like Cleanmarine MenoMin which has been formulated specifically to give extra nutritional support for peri-menopausal and menopausal women.

• Look for support from friends, partners, groups, doctor or a therapist.

• Take time out for yourself and have something that is just for you.

• Connection – Reconnect with yourself and others.

• Champion you and other women, become your own “bestie”.

Yes, this Midlife stage may feel that every part of your life is up for change & reassessment but remember that change brings renewal, vitality and choice, it is an opportunity to re-examine your life and ditch what does not serve you well anymore. When this realisation happens, you become much more discerning with your time and energy and will use it wisely.

I really believe and research shows that women’s confidence may wain at the beginning of perimenopause but with this new awareness, it’s time to make the next chapters of your life really count & live life on your own terms. Midlife women collectively are a powerhouse and a force to be reckoned with. What is there not to love about finding your true self so try and enjoy & embrace this journey of self-discovery.

Follow Mary Lynn on social @marylynntherapist.ie or visit her website marylynn.ie for more.