A recent UK survey showed that there are 8 symptoms of perimenopause women do not link to the symptoms of this inevitable life stage. Menopause is individual to each person and so what you experience can be different to your friend or family member. Daily now we are shattering the taboo of menopause but for many it can still be difficult to broach this personal sensitive subject. So many women associate menopause with the 50’s when it actually starts way before – often in your early to mid 40’s, and it can start earlier too for some women. Over the last few years I have often been contacted by both men and women who have a loved one going through early perimenopause and they just may not be aware of what is happening. Delicacy and sensitivity is required when opening this conversation. 

Last year I chatted with Anne who attended one of my workshops in her workplace. After the session she contacted me to explain that she thought her friend was going through perimenopause and how could she support her and get her to realise this was possibly what was happening. There are many ways you can approach this and it will be very personal and different based on your relationship – you will know what is best whether it is a partner, friend or family member. 

Drop small seeds first and this will pave the way for a more open conversation. I would start to drop menopause into your conversations, for example, a recent article you read that you found interesting and would she like to read it, a podcast you listened to, or an interesting program you watched. Try mentioning my podcast “Uprising” available online at https://www.wellnesswarrior.ie/news/category/podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

You could also reference issues that you have faced yourself, if you are at this stage. Depending on the response you could continue to do this and at some point, I would encourage you to print off a Menopause Symptom Tracker and you could suggest you go through it together or you could leave it with her and then hopefully she may realise she is ticking some of the boxes. This could be quick and you could get a response very fast but in Anne’s case it actually took many efforts before her friend opened up to the possibility – as she was in her mid 40’s she was struggling with her attitude not only to menopause but to ageing and that can take time to settle within our minds.

It is very common that many women especially in the early perimenopause years do not realise what is happening, that is partly because we often look for hot flushes and periods stopping but there are many other tell-tale signs of perimenopause most especially those on the psychological level.

However you can support your friend please do, we all need support in menopause and need our tribe of warriors around us to navigate this natural life stage. This is a time in our lives when our bodies want us to go gently and go easier on ourselves, unfortunately, that is not always possible with everyday life but with the right support we can move through these years with smiles and laughter in our lives.