Are you in a new relationship? Or moving in with your boyfriend for the first time? Have you had all the important chats? Money? Life goals? Kids? Hormones? Yes, that’s right. It might sound like the conversation from hell, where one or both of you will be embarrassed but awkward chats are often the most necessary ones and being up front about hormones and your monthly cycle from the beginning might just help your relationship to thrive in the long run. 

It’s a sad reality that a lot of men don’t know what’s going on in a woman’s body and often dismiss every mood and fight as being down to her ‘time of the month’ regardless of whether it is or not.

A short conversation explaining the way a woman’s cycle works can do wonders to helping your partner understand what’s going on and be a little bit sounder just when you need it! Here’s a helpful tip sheet with what you might want to talk about with them.

It’s Not Me, It’s the Chemicals
First and foremost, we need to stop referring to ourselves as “crazy” during our time of the month. We’re anything but. What we are, are women dealing with a rollercoaster of hormones each month and all that comes with it. Oestrogen rises as our bodies get ready to ovulate and drops quickly just before ovulation occurs. After ovulation progesterone levels rise and if you don’t become pregnant drops all the way back down and your next period starts. You may experience symptoms like (as you well know!) irritability, anxiety, insomnia, crying and mood swings– these are usually felt most at the end of your cycle, just before your period starts.

This is Normal
This is a big one and it’s an important point to hammer home. Having symptoms around the time of your period is totally normal. Almost all women have some of these symptoms to a varying degree and if a man was to track the times he didn’t understand why fights happen or his girlfriend seemed off it would probably be the same time every four weeks! If you explain that you’re not mad on what goes on and you’re just trying to ride the hormonal rollercoaster too, it will seem like you’re in it together. Which you are! You can gently remind him that if he wants a relationship with any woman this is part of it.

It Doesn’t Last Long
Most of us are tracking our cycles with an app these days and this might be the time to whip it out and show it to him. Explain when the symptoms usually kick off and that they usually stop within a day or two of your period arriving.

It Doesn’t Create Problems; It Just Makes Them Worse
This is a good one. Your hormones don’t make your boss annoying or your commute longer but it does make everything seem much worse. You’re riding the hormonal rollercoaster, your cramping, you feel bloated and your boss is a grade A pain in the bum. It’s the combination of everything that makes you cry or eat a full tub of Ben and Jerrys.

What I Need From You
Men are often problem solvers and that’s not what we always need. Explain what you want during this time. Men always say they’re not mind readers so don’t expect them to be. Tell them what you need from them whether it’s a listening ear, extra hugs, time on your own or a constant supply of chocolate. You’re in this together!